活在别人的放大镜下

就算是个小小的污点

也会顿时变得其大无比

我真的有在努力

可是我就是改不了

我还是那该死的我

现实快要把我逼疯

或许我真的不够努力吧

14.03.2013

昨天，我回到了那长长的走廊
那走廊并非一般的走廊
它对我的意义非凡
那里代表则着我求学生涯的开端

在这长长的走廊
我认识了许多行径疯狂的朋友
我们也经历了无数的风风雨雨
那些回忆是无价也不可被取代的

我很庆幸能来到这里求学
在这里我得到的除了知识
还要许许多多的人生道理
我认识了很棒又疯狂的朋友
除此之外，我还遇到我的 Mr. Right

来自小城市的直肠直肚的臭脸女孩

我常说 “真正的委屈是说不出口”
那么也许说出来，就变得不委屈了吧？

我来自的地方和这里相比之下
我的城市突然变得好小
那么，容许我自称“小城市的女孩”

坦白说，大城市和小城市真的有差
大城市的人说话都比较拐弯抹角
小城市的人说话都比较直肠直肚
来自小城市的我说话比较直，比较冲
不像大城市的人说话总是会有所保留
那么，容许我自称“来自小城市的直肠直肚的女孩”

我这人天生一副“臭”脸
如果我不笑的话，脸真的比臭豆腐还要臭
可是我不笑的时候，不代表我真的不爽或生气
好啦，我知道我的脾气不是说很好
就算有那一瞬间我真的有不爽
可是我会很快收拾自己的心情
我也许是有点情绪化，脾气也不是很好
可是当我不笑的时候，我不一定是在发脾气
那么，容许我自称“来自小城市的直肠直肚的臭脸女孩”

所以当这位“来自小城市的直肠直肚的臭脸女孩”来到大城市时
她，有点适应不良。有句话还真的说得好，“江山易改，本性难移”
就算她再怎么努力改掉说话很冲得性格都好
她始终都做不到像大城市的人说话那么八面玲珑
就算她没有“很冲”的意识，大城市人也会觉得被冒犯
有时候她不笑的时候，就算没有发脾气
也会被别人误以为是在发大小姐脾气
她也很无可奈何，因为脸是天生的呀
难道要她一天二十四小时都在笑吗？
她，不善于表达。尽管很努力尝试表达自己所见，
也只会让人觉得“这人很固执”
当她放弃发言权，别人又误以为她在发脾气
可是没有人会想到她也许只是累了放弃了
她不想让人觉得她是个太过执著和顽固的人
所以选择不说话，安静下来，安抚自己的情绪
可是天生“臭”脸的她，却让别人误以为在闹情绪

说真的，
 活在别人的眼光里好累。
尝试做个大城市的人也好累。
一直被人误会的感觉更累。

我尝试了，可我永远都只会是个
“来自小城市的直肠直肚的臭脸女孩”
别人眼光里的鄙视，厌恶与误会
带给了我无形的压力，悲伤与委屈

坦白说，我也厌倦这样的自己
我不想要一直活在别人的眼光之下
我努力过，可是我却还是我
我改不了我那小城市的性格

我累了，也放弃了
我学会不要那么在乎别人的眼光
我学会不渴望别人接纳的眼神
我学会了更懂得保护和爱惜自己

我常说 “真正的委屈是说不出口”
那么说出来的委屈就再也不委屈了
做人当自强，在那里跌倒就要在那里爬起来。

Never pretend to become someone who is not you.
It's okay to strike to become a better person.
But pretending someone else is you, that's not the case.
It's inevitable that people will evaluate and judge you.
But they don't know the story behind your name.
Just because of you are not like them,
doesn't mean you are not good enough.

I am who I am.
I'm proud of myself.
My name is Melissa Sen Yen Yen.

For HIM

从来没想过幸福会那么靠近我

这一切一切都要归功于你

如果没有你出现在我生命里

我想我不会像现在那么幸福

这世界上除了父母

我想也只有你那么傻

会把我当成公主疼爱

对了

我有没有告诉你

如果我是个公主

那么我绝对是个

野蛮公主

这世界上除了家人

也只有你那么傻

会无条件的包容我

火爆的脾气

大小家的性格

还有所谓双重标准

我想也只有你那么傻

无条件的包容我

有时候

我自己也很怀疑

你为什么会爱上我

心想自己的缺点可不少的我

还有什么值得被你爱

哈哈 

宝贝啊，为什么你会那么爱我呢？

你可知道你的爱会把我宠坏吗？

谢谢你那么爱我

在这陌生的城市里

因为有你在这里

我才有“家”的感觉

是你在这陌生的城市里给了我个家

你不但给了我你的爱

还与我分享你父母对你的爱

有时候真的觉得你好傻

宝贝，要记得多疼惜自己呀！

傻猪

你那么爱我

我怎能不爱你呢

我不但会爱你

而且还会越来越爱你哦

Happy Birthday to Seow Yun

Last year I promised you to make a handmade present for your 2012 birthday.
Actually I prepared this for long time, but I didn't managed to finished it due to many reasons.

Can you see the yellow package that I pinned on my board?

Yes, it's your belated handmade birthday present!

I pinned it there for almost a year already I guess? HAHA

Although this present is a year late, but finally I finished it in this year before your birthday!

It suppose to be look like this! HEHEHE

Can you the card? Actually I wrote that in 2012! LOL 

Sorry for the BELATED BIRTHDAY PRESENT! 

It's something simple, reallyyyyyy SIMPLE from me.

HAPPY 21st Birthday Seow Yun! HEHE =D

29.01.2013

Grownup world is not as fun as what I expected when I was a kid. The older I become, the greater the fear toward it. Life is not easy, especially grownup world. Never expect life to be easy on you. This was what I have been told by my lecturer. But who doesn't want to have an easy life? It's our nature for wanting a good life. Unfortunately, sometimes what we got is only disappointment. Last time, I used to think that friends should accept you unconditionally for who you are. However, the reality doesn't work that way. I understand the fact that not everyone will like you and accept you for who you are. But at least, you will hope that the one you see as friend will like you and accept you. Well, sometimes things just don't work as what you wish. I had been turned down by my "friends" because of my bad habit or rather my weaknesses. Perhaps we just couldn't click with each other I guess? That's the only reason I can keep telling myself. Although I really want to get along well with a group of friends, but sometimes I just feel that I don't belong to this group. I feel like I am an outsider. No matter how hard you tried, you just feel like the chemistry is not right! No common topics and interests at all. Sometimes, it make me wonder am I normal? Perhaps I am the outlier. Sometimes, even if you put a lot of effort to maintain the friendships, it doesn't guarantee that your effort will paid off. Well, maybe this is what we called "LIFE". People always said that you must treasure your high school friends because they are the one who be friend with you regardless of who you are. Somehow I think this is quite true to me. OF COURSE, you may meet some true friends even after high school life. I met some, I guess? How about you?

08.01.2013

08.01.2013

04.01.2013

It's raining cat and dog. Thunder and lightning are partying.
When these combined together, it terrified people especially children.
When I was a child, I used to be afraid of thunder and lightning.
There is one piece of my memories that is unforgettable.
I remembered there was a time which rain heavily with thunder and lightning.
I was alone, I suppose I was playing with myself.
When the thunder struck, I quickly ran into my mother's arms.
I feel safe and secure when I am around with her.
Heavy downpour and thunder always able to strike my homesick.
Because it remind me of my mother and home.
I'm blogging this at hostel, alone and away from my home.
The rain is almost stop and the dark cloud had started to scatter.
Although the rainbow is still hiding behind somewhere,
but I know it's time to stop indulging in homesickness.
It's time to move on and rock my world!

02.01.2013 - Malaysia. Boleh.

Recently, there was an incident that caused an uproar in society.
A teenager who was arrested because of attempted to rape a lady in a gas station's toilet.
The news had spread on Facebook tremendously before it was on the newspaper.
In my opinion, there were two reasons why this incident had caused public indignation.
Firstly, the age of the perpetrator. A teenage boy who tried to rape a young female adult?
This should be the front-page of the newspaper! However, it didn't. Malaysia.
Flashback when you are a teenager, where were you doing at that time?
When I was a teenager, I was playing with my neighbours at the playground.
How about you all? I bet you wouldn't try to rape people like the boy did.
This incident really shocked me when I first read the post on Facebook.
It made me wondered what did his parents taught him.
It made me doubted the quality of Malaysia's education system.
It made me start to worry about the humanity and morality of youngsters.
The world is changing, and I wonder it is still at the "right" track.
The second thing that caused public outrage was the police's attitude.
The police asked whether or not to let the boy go. Do you think this is the right way?
For me, NO. The boy's intention had told us there must be something wrong about the boy.
Although he is still young, but don't you think the victim deserve a justice?
I'm not saying that the boy should go to jail or what.
At least he should be taught about what is right and what is wrong.
A simple principle and yet the police failed to understand.
I strongly doubted the quality of the police.
Not all the polices are like that, but there will always some black sheep among them.

Well, I guess this is what people called "reality".

01.01.2013

What was the most memorable things happened on 2012?
A question I heard from radio when I was in the car this afternoon.

The first thing that came across in my mind was my first anniversary.
Despite that night had an argument with Him, it was still a wonderful and unforgettable day.
I know he had put a lot of effort to make this day memorable for both of us.
Well, his effort paid off. At least, I will not forget what happened on 24th September 2012.
Besides that, 14th February 2012 was also unforgettable to me too.
It was my first time in life to celebrate Valentine's day, and for him as well.
That day, after my class finished and heading back to meet someone.
I saw a well-dressed guy with a bouquet of rose standing not far away from me.
He was not anyone, but my love one. He is not only my lover, but also one of my family.
Like other couples, we will fight and argue, but we are still loving each other.
Although he is not perfect and has weaknesses, but I'm glad and happy to have him.
Baby, just want you to know that I love you!

Apart from my love story, the most  memorable day in uni life was Colloquium presentation.
 I'm not a good public speaker. I got extremely nervous when I do public speaking.
I have no choice but to overcome my stage fright. Bit-by-bit, I learn to become a good speaker.
Thanks to my lecturer, Ms Winnie who gave me a chance to present in Colloquium.
Also not to forget to thanks my group mates who did a very good job in our assignment!

Lastly,I had a memorable and meaningful conversation with a good friend.
She has successful opened my Pandora's box and make me cried. HAHA
The fact was she unintentionally made me shared my inner feelings with her.
Anyway, I have learnt a lot from her, especially during the conversation we had.

This is my answer if you were to ask me
"What was the most memorable things happened on 2012"

The world did not end at 21st December 2012 as what the rumors said.
For me, it actually means just live your life fullest!
Happy New Year to all of you!!

宝贝

近来他都很忙

最近这几个礼拜都没有睡好

希望这首歌能让他有个好眠

宝贝，别忙坏身子

我爱你 =)

12.12.2012

Its common that people inside their cars pose those weird poses to passerby.
I don't know whether you have this kind of experience or not, but I met some before.
It's not surprise for me if there are people posing weird pose to me inside their car.
Actually I found this quite amusing because those people are adults.
As an adult, posing such childish,ignorance or rather stupid poses to a passerby?
Seriously, I despise you and shame for you. For me, they are just making fun on themselves.
So, normally I will just ignore them, pretend you see nothing.
The reason why I bring up this issue is this happened to me on this morning.
If the "people" are normal citizens, then there is nothing big deal about it. Because its normal.
BUT, this time, the "people" is an authority figure, a policeman.
Today when I was waiting to cross the road, a police car passed by me.
The police car's speed was not fast, at least it was slow enough for me to notice the policeman's silly act.
The policeman in the passenger seat look at me and posed a peace sign with a silly and ugly smile to me.
And I was like, excuse me? A policeman? An authority figure? Seriously, I was speechless.
At that moment, what I felt was only disappointment and despair.
Although I understand that not all the policemen are like that, but that policeman really .........
All I can say is that policeman had jeopardized the policeman's image.
If there is a chance that the head of policemen is reading this,
PLEASE, make sure all the policemen outside are qualified to be a policeman.