31.07.2011

今天是七月的最后一天了，一眨眼一个月就过去了。
说短不短，说长不长。今天是我在家的第十七天了。
其实在这十七天里，我几乎每天都过着很颓废的日子。
我做了十七天的宅女，差不多每天都呆在家里。
在这十七天里，生活离不开上网，看戏，和睡觉。
日夜颠倒，该起床的时候就睡觉，该睡觉却不睡觉。
出门的次数，用一只手都数的出来。
所以，并不是我不要更新我的博客，而是没有什么好写。
每天都窝在家里当宅女，根本没什么特别的事情好给我写。

还记得上次在聚会我笑着跟朋友说我是为了逃难而逃回来的。
其实从某个角度来说，这是个很讽刺的事实。
我没有好好处理我的问题，反之当个缩头乌龟而逃回来的。
我知道当初的决定的确很草率而也伤害了她。
可是也是这个决定让我暂时放过了自己，不再沦陷于痛苦里。
我知道我间接做了个大坏人，说真的我也很无奈。
但是人不为己，天诛地灭。很抱歉，我只是个又平凡又自私的人。
你们要如何去看我，悉随尊便吧~ 我也管不了那么多。
这件事千错万错只错在于我，要恨就恨我，要骂就骂我。
虽然我不敢爱也不敢恨，但我却敢做敢当。

在这十七天里，虽然我放任着自己过着很颓废的日子，
可是当夜深人静的时候，难免也会动脑想东想西的。
其实执著久了，我竟然忘记了当初执著的原因。
其实爱久了，我竟然忘记了当初爱过的感觉。
此时此刻，我体会到了时间的威力。

我虽忘了当初执著的原因，却没有后悔当初的决定。
我虽忘了当初爱过的感觉，却没有后悔爱上某某某。

明天是八月的第一天，也希望是个全新的一天。
祝大家开开心心过着每一天 =)

24.07.2011

It has been awhile that I have not update my blog. >.<

In case if someone really didn't aware, I'm now at Sabah.

Today I received a call from my friend, he asked me out for dinner.

BUT, he currently at west Malaysia but I'm at east Malaysia.

Curious about who is this "big head prawn" ?

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Poor Ah Yaw xD

To all friends who stay at west Malaysia, 

I'm fine here, no need worry about me =D

I will miss you guys too!

Especially those weirdossss xD

The reason that I didn't update my blog is there is nothing for me to update.

Believe it or not, I always stay at home and seldom go out.

Reason? I just don't feel like going out =)

HAHAHAHA! I know this sound so not Melissa but IT IS TRUE!

Oh yea! Please don't contact me at Morning.

Because I most probably will be sleeping so please don't interrupt my sleep.

Meh Meh here =D

Annoying

Few days ago, one of my friends posted a wall post on my facebook wall.
She asked me to click "like" for her photo to vote for her.
Well, actually this scenario happen quite often nowadays. I'm not the only victim.
I really don't like people do this do me, I don't mind to help you but please don't do this.
I didn't say that you cannot promote yourself during a contest, but not in this way.
I rather you inbox me instead of posting on my wall. =.=
You can share your links hundred times on your wall is your business but not on my wall please!
Can you imagine suddenly an acquaintance call you "my dearest friend" ?
Well, honestly it make me feel gross!!!!! =.=
By the way, this is not the first time she posts such things on my wall =.=
Waste my time to check the notification and my energy to delete the wall post =.=
Annoying. Irritating. Frustrating. RUBBISH.

17.07.2011

今天一个人去了我家附近的游乐场闲逛。
那是我小时候玩耍的地方，充满了许多童年的回忆。
秋千，跷跷板，滑梯，好像变小了。
正确来说，是我长大了，不再是个乳臭未干的小女孩。

坐在缩水了的秋千，随风摆动。
忘了多久，没有好好地感受被风轻轻地拥抱。
爬上变矮了的滑梯，遥望四周。
忘了多久，没有好好地留意周围的变化。

小树长大了，不再是弱不禁风而变成粗壮的大树。
就好像我一样，不再是懵懵懂懂的小女娃。
现在的我，少了小孩的稚气，多了几分成熟。
肩膀上的重担，就好像岁月一样，有增无减。

闲逛玩游乐场，觉得好像不过瘾。
当下就决定到处走走，去附近篮球场看看。
路途中，无意间看到两家的小孩在玩耍。
大家拿着自己的椅子，隔着篱笆，坐在自己的庭院聊天玩耍。
这一幕，让我感觉好熟悉 好怀念，仿佛时光倒流。
因为曾几何时我也像他们一样，度过了我的童年。

今日这一游，让我觉得自己变老长大了！

12.07.2011

今晚很搞笑却很温馨，谢谢你哦 =)

说真的，当我收到你的简讯时，我的世界有停顿三秒！

因为从来没想过会收到这样的简讯！

真的不得不佩服你啦，好朋友！

我确实有这样的念头，但没有那么傻 =）

确实最近的我是有点负，但还不至于那么严重！

很抱歉让你担惊受怕，我知错了！等下就面壁思过！

还是很谢谢你的关心，因为你让我感觉到我是被爱的。

所以，为了报答你，我会把自己照顾好的！放心！

可是如果是天灾或意外，那就不关我事啦，Okay?

因为那不是在我能力范围里面！哈哈哈

****************************************************************************************************************************************************************

*写了很多，也删了很多*

因为文字无法表达我现在的情绪。

此时此刻，五味杂陈。

现在回家是最适合的时候，

因为不想看到不想看的人。

虽然不想看到你，可是还是希望你开心。

*做人真的是很犯贱，我就是个最好的例子*

10.07.2011

怎么说，说真的，不知道。
慌了，乱了，一切都不按照牌理出牌。
我，不知该给怎样的反应。

脑袋一片空白，并不是熬夜的导致的。
是我自己选择的一种自我保护的方式。
就好像电脑自动关机一样，自我保护。
脑袋负荷不了复杂的问题，所以空白。

逃避问题，根本解决不了问题。
这谁都知道，而我本身也知道这道理。
嘴巴说说当然简单，但一旦实行起来却很困难。

昨晚我发了一个梦，我梦见一个她。
在梦里，我竟然求她放过我。
我在梦里都求你放过我了，现实的你听见了吗？

她让我陷入理性和任性之间的挣扎。
一度的崩溃，一度的欲哭无泪。
心，碎了再碎。要从何修补呢？

有心还是无意，并不重要了。
因为不管是情谊或是信任都被瓦解了。
而无形的墙已经被建好了。

谁对谁错？有谁在乎？
硬要说谁错的话，那么是我的错吧。
因为从头到尾，错在于我一个人而已。

无奈，只能说人类的情感很复杂。
因为我也搞不懂自己在想些什么。

是谁打开了潘多拉的盒子？
打开了的盒子可以被关上。
可是破碎的心该如何修补？

答案在哪里？那里会有答案？
希望梦乡里会有我要的答案。

09.07.2011

Today was just another wasted day for me.
I have done nothing except for watching anime and facebook-ing.
People kept complaint about the roadblock and the government.
Sometimes, world just cant stay peace as we wish? >.<

Soon I'm going back to Sabah, no more excitement just feel normal.
Somehow I feel glad that I can go back to hometown soon.
I just don't want to stay here anymore, not even for a single moment.
But I still have one more paper to go, sigh.

I know I should not escape from my problem, but I just don't want to face it.
I know I sound like a kid, but i just don't want to deal with this shit.
I tried to solve it, but i cant even think of any solutions.
So I have made a decision, let go things that hurt me.
If the title/identity/role that I having now is hurting me, I will let go it.
I'm sorry to say that I just cant bear with it anymore.

Everyday I watch anime until I feel numb,
every night I online until my eyes cannot open anymore,
you know what, this feel sucks!
I want back my peaceful life!
And I'm gonna get it back soon!

Gonna sleep now, my eyes said wanna sleep already. Night

女生的辛酸 xD

女生大姨妈来的时候，真的会很不舒服。
肚子胀胀的，有时候还会痛得死去活来。
不但腰酸背痛，有时候小腿甚至会抽筋。
可恶的是我们还要穿像湿尿布的卫生棉。
每个人的体质都不同，严重程度都不同，
尽管如此，我们还是会感到很不舒服！！
所以啊，男生应该稍微体谅下我们嘛~
试想一下我们的痛就好像你们蛋蛋被踢到一样痛。
而且还要每个月都要痛一个礼拜，你说可不可怜？
所以啊，男生难道就不可以大方一点将就下我们吗？
那一个礼拜，有时候难免会失控闹脾气，我们也不想的嘛~
所以啊 ，男生应该大人有大量，这时候就不要和我们计较  =p

07.07.2011

Today gonna talk about the bad service I ever had in my life so far.
There is a stationery shop located at our main block there, WN.
Their attitude seriously got problem!!! Is that the way how you treat your customer?
How ignorance and supercilious you are!!! I seriously hope that this shop can close down asap!!
Just because of I want 6 slides on one page then you straight away said you don't want do my business?
I understand that you want earn MORE MONEY! But is this the right way to treat your customer?
I wonder whether is customer pick you or you pick the customer???
FINE, if you don't want do my business,  because THERE ARE A LOTS OF STATIONERY SHOPSSS!!!
You think you are the only shop who provide this kind of service? =.=
Opps, I think it was my fault. Because I'm not suppose to go to your shop and print notes.
This was definitely my fault and I apologize that! I will never go to your shop, never and ever.
In order to show how sincere I am when I apologize to you, I shall give you 22 words!!
今时今日的服务态度是不行的！！祝福你早日关门大吉！！

******************************************************************************************************************************************************************

This afternoon had a GOOD and NICE conversation with my beloved big sista, Eunice!
Even though it just a very very short conversation, but I'm still very happy to talk to you!
Because it has been awhile that we didn't have a good chat lee =(
And now finally we met even though just a little while but it was worthy! =)

******************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Tomorrow will be the day, my first final examination for my first year first semester!
Yet, I have totally no motivation to study!!! LOL What a bad student I am!!
Anyway, I will do my best for my part of course! I will try my best to motivate myself!
Its time to prepare myself to study! =)

*power up myself* HAHAH

All the best to all psycho students who are having exams!!!! We can do it!!! =D

06.07.2011

This is how my desktop looks like!

Full of Lambo's pictures <3

Anime is the best to heal wounds, especially those invisible one.

Magical spells can be undone, but time cannot be reverse and invisible wound cannot be remove.

Anime, the best medicine for me =)

Lately, I have been learning two songs, 

My heart will go on and the song below. xD

Omg, I just enjoy singing and playing with my guitar!

This is what I call MY LIFE =D HAHA

Have you guys found your own life yet? =)

Recently fall in love with this song

Just like what the lyric mean, its too hurt to love. LOL

Hope you guys enjoy this =D

After I opened my door, I saw someone was lying on my bed.

No doubt about that, it was my roommate. =.=

She was sleeping on my bed instead of hers.

I was so frustrated but I just kept quiet about that.

Seriously, what the hell is on her mind?

That is MY BED!!  MY PILLOW!! 

Perhaps today is not my day.

Since that day, everyday has become not my day anymore.

Luckily I still got anime with me =)

Anime really the best of the best! 

My dearest Lambo-sama <3 love yaaa

******************************************************************************************************************************************

You're the good guy and I'm the bad guy.

At the end, bad guy always lose to good guy right?

This is one of the rules that never change.

So, I'm sorry then.

雨后的彩虹

我站在苍茫的大草原，看着无边无际的草原。
天空突然下起了倾盆大雨，淋湿渺小的我。

雨，竟然是红色的！而我吓慌了。
原来我在我心里，而我的心哭了。

雨停了，因为没有多余的血泪让我哭了。
雨停了，然而彩虹却没有出现。

我独自在那一望无际的草原上，
一边哼着周杰伦的彩虹，
一边等待着彩虹的出现。

等了一天一夜，也唱了一天一夜。
可是彩虹始终都没有出现。
才发现，原来雨后不一定会有彩虹。

红雨，又开始了下了。
这次并没有倾盆大雨，而是毛毛雨。
我的心，又开始揪了。

我按着我的心口说
“我求你别哭了，好吗？我痛地快要窒息了！
  破碎的心别哭了。我帮你贴胶布，好吗？
  求你了！别哭了！不要再哭了！你哭的让我心烦啊！”

心，仿佛封闭了自己，砍断外界的联系。
心，好像听不到我的呼求，自顾自怜。
心，求你回应我的呼唤，好吗?

我痛地蹲下来，双手紧紧地抱着自己。
大声呐喊：“求你别哭了！”
红雨始终没有停，血泪有再次淋湿了伤痕累累的我。
再也没有血泪可以流了，而我也失去了意识。
 

Katekyō Hitman Reborn!

Today wanna introduce an awesome anime to you guys!

The anime is : Katekyo Hitman Reborn!

Its about how a weak boy, Tsuan become stronger and a mafia(Vongola family) boss.

He will met an acrobaleno, Reborn that teaches him to become stronger.

This is the simplest summary ever, so for more information click here.

This is the 10th Generation of Vongola Family.

Vongola Family Boss : Tsunayoshi Sawada

Owned the ring of sky

Tsuna's tutor : Reborn, The strongest acrobaleno 

10 years before and after

.Hayato Gokudera, owned the ring of storm

Dynamite expert and genius as in acedemic

Short-tempered, personally think that he is the most annoying character in this anime

10 years before and after

Takeshi Yamamoto, owned the ring or rain

A swordsman, good in sport especially baseball

10 years before and after.

Lambo, a five years old hitman who owned the ring of storm

Love to eat, play around with I-pin, fooling/play around with others

Despite he is a baby, at the crucial time, will help a bit to others LOL

10 years before and after.

Ryohei Sasagawa, owned the ring of sun.

A passionate boxing player, with the habit of saying "to the extreme" in every sentence he spoke

10 years before and after

Kyoya Hibari, owned the ring of cloud

Leader of Namimori's Discipline Committee, love Namimori very much.

A violent fighter which use tonfa as main weapon. 

Dislike socialize with others but kind to children and animal

Mukuro Rokudo and Chrome Dokuro

owned the ring of mist, expert in creating illusions 

Acrobaleno

Other characters :

Kyoko Sasagawa(left hand side teenage girl) and Haru Kurokawa( right hand side teenage girl)

Both of them also like Tsuna, but they are still very good friend

The baby beside Lambo is Ipin.

10 years later 

Lambo and Ipin

Baby Lambo in middle of the fight with Byakuran's subordinate 

See how cute Lambo is!!! <3 He is not that useless LOL

This is a very very nice anime, you guys should watch it!!!

Omg, LAMBO IS SO CUTE!!!!! <3

梦想

刚刚在看我一个旧同学的脸书，她在台湾的求学生活过的很好。
她让我回想起我以前的一个梦，那就是到台湾留学。
因为健康的问题，我最后只能来西马这里念书。
我真的很向往那里大学的生活，也很想体验那里的文化。
可是到最后这终究只是一个梦，因为时间不能从来。
虽然在这里也很开心因为认识到一群很棒的朋友。
可是如果可以，我还是希望能去台湾留学。
只能说这是我生命中的一个遗憾了。

At the end, it was just a dream.

01.07.2011

这世界充满了许多很无奈的事情，

就好像跟不上世界变换的速度。

明明以前很喜欢的，现在却变成厌恶了。

明明不想讨厌的，现在却讨厌了。

这样的改变，连自己都措手不及。

我真的不想不喜欢或讨厌他。

可是有些事情发生了，就是发生了。

有心或无意都好，因为我的心真的受伤了。

我知道我不能怪谁，因为谁也没有错。

可是身份不一样，结果就变的不一样了。

我自己知道我不能怪他，理论上来说他没有错。

只是我过不了自己那一关，我也很无奈。

有时候，真希望撇掉那身份。

那么我就不必那么内疚。

那么我就不会那么痛苦。

也许也不会出现这样的问题。

戴这微笑的面具比想像中的更累。

明明不想笑的，却还得强颜欢笑。

其实很多人都和我一样，戴着那沉重的面具。

面具背后真正的心情，只有自己知道吧？

就好像只有自己最清楚自己的心酸。

试问还有谁会比自己更了解自己呢？

有人问我，为什么不要和他说清楚呢？

说了又有什么用呢？

事情只会变的更复杂更尴尬而已。

何况有问题的是我，何必牵扯其他人呢。

我并没有装什么伟大，只是觉得没有这个必要。

对了，请不要随便对号入座哦。